~~Under Construction~~
I am a recovered alcoholic and drug
addict.
My sobriety date is 10/5/95
YOU MAY VISIT MY RECOVERY PAGE BY CLICKING HERE
I debated whether this belongs on a
my website or not, but decided that is a big part of who I am and I am
certainly not ashamed of it. I am a recovered alcoholic. I have clean and sober
since October 1995 and my life has been completely changed for the better
because of it. Suffice it to say that I work a twelve step program, I do a lot
of volunteer work, and it is a big part of my life.
On this page I will add some links
and useful information to anyone who would like to read more about this disease
for whatever reason. I also will include a research paper on the >genetic predisposition to
alcoholism that I wrote several years ago. I hope you find it interesting.
Also, if you have any questions
about me, alcoholism, or other addictions, I would urge you to email me! I
welcome such discussions!
Until I get some more work done on
this site, I will just give a basic definition of what alcoholism is, as I
undestand it, and leave it at that. I would also like to say that, please,
understand, that I pass NO JUDGEMENT on anyone else who drinks or uses
mind-altering chemicals. I honestly believe that there are people out there
that can do that stuff without impunity. I am just not one of them. To each his
(or her) own.
Alcoholism , as I understand it, is
a disease of both the mind and the body. Some also argue that it is a disease
of the spirit too. That latter, however, I believe is more a RESULT of the
disease, rather than an aspect of it.
Basically someone who suffers from
a disease of alcoholism is physically allergic to alchohol. The physically
allergy is described as the phenomenon of "craving". Once alcohol is
introduced into the body, the body craves more. Craving is not a mental
condition. It is a physical one. Recent research supports this idea in that
people who suffer from alcoholic conditions physically AND physiologically
react differently to alcohol than people who do not suffer. Alcohol in the body
of an alcoholic makes the body crave more. And the continued introduction of
more alcohol into the system only increases the body's craving making it
virtually impossible to stop drinking, once started. Although there may
be times that a person's willpower can overcome the need for alcohol,
eventually, it inevitably gives way. The disease is also progressive meaning it
ONLY gets worse. It can not improve.
It is important to rememeber "...the continued introduction
of more alcohol into the system only increases the body's craving making it
virtually impossible to stop drinking, once started." Why then does
the alcoholic simply not pick up that first drink? The answer is because the
second part of this disease is the mental aspect referred to as
"obsession". An obsession is any idea that is so strong that it
outweighs all other ideas to the contrary. Even if it is a lie! Thus the
obsession of an alcoholic is that eventually he can drink normally. It is often
reffered to as a disease of denial or of self-delusion. And when someone is
self-deluded, that do not know they are so! An alcoholic suffering from the disease
often finds himself saying, following a drunk, "I'll never do that
again." But eventually, the obsession kicks in again, and he or she
becomes convinced that it will be different this time. Once the alcohol is put
into the system, off they go...
Thus the alcoholic has no power to control his or her drinking. There is the
obsession of the mind that eventually tells him that he can drink again (or
her). And there is the allergic reaction to alcohol that insures that once he
or she does start drinking, they cannot control it. The only solution is to rid
the mind of the obsession that causes the person to pick up that first drink
settingv the cycle into motion again.
People start drinking for many reasons, and I will not try to suggest why other
people do so. I can however offer an idea concerning why I did. At some point
in my life, I drank and liked the effect. Perhaps I was feeling depressed, or
irritable, or for any number of reasons. The alcohol produced a positve effect.
My mind made an instant connection that to feel better, I would drink. Now if
you will read my paper on the predisposition to alcoholism, you will find that
it is my belief, and many others, that there is good evidence suggesting an
inherited predisposition to alcoholism. Pair this predisposition with the
learned effect that alcohol produces a positive effect and you have a powerful
inclination to drink. Now the disease varies from person to person as far as
it's intensity. But ALL alcoholics have the two aspects: the mental obsession
and the physical craving. Physical craving NEVER occurs in non-alcoholics.
NEVER! If you experience it, you are probably alcoholic. My very first drink at
the age of about 12 or 13 was drank 'alcoholically'. I kept pouring more and
more vodka until I passed out. I may have been able to control my drinking for
some time, but eventually the progression of the disease removed my ability to
do so, and removed my ability to stop drinking. I just could not stop.
What I and hundreds of thousands of others have discovered was that there is a
solution that will REMOVE the mental obsession. And without the mental
obsession and the ingestion of alcohol, there will be no craving. Thus an
effectual result is "recovery".
Today I have had a vital spiritual experience which has removed the compulsion
to drink. I do not suffer from this disease, anymore. And because of that I try
constantly to assist others who suffer from alcoholism. I find that essential
to remain sober. Not to mention that it is an amazing experience to watch
others who suffer eventually recover and lead productive lives. My life is
totally different because of my recovery and for that I am so grateful.
Today I continually sposnor people in AA, CA, and other 12 step programs. And I
don't believe that what this program has to offer is limited to helping those
from this disease. I understand today that me being an alcoholic has alot more
to do with who I am rather than the drinking. Even still today, I have certain
character and thinking flaws which are what make me an alcoholic. I am driven
by fear: fear that you will not like me, fear that I will feel pain, fear that
I will be alone or unloved. Alcohol wasn't my problem, it was my solution. I
heard someone say once, "How do you know if an alcoholic is lying? If you
see his lips move, he's probably lying." Thats partly true. I still lie.
Sometimes don't even know I am doing it. The most honest thing I can say is: I
will probably lie to you at some point. Hopefully I will realize it, and make
ammends for it. Today with a God of my understanding in my life, I am mostly
truthful. But I am never going to be perfect.
I do regular prayer and meditation in my life today. It has done miracles. It
keeps me grounded, honest, and hopefully less selfish. I get guidance and
answers. My concept of God is very simple: all powerful, omnipresent, and pure
love. I have plenty of theories beyond that, but I try to keep it simple today.
To fully understand God is to be God... and I ain't him.
If you have any other questions about this, feel free to write to me. Email me...
Click here to see my paper on >The Genetic Predisposition to
Alcoholism . And try to remmember...it was first year english!
Helpful or interesting